Gray weekend

As temps dive Dive DIVE

My neighbor was clearing his camper and mentioned that snow slid across the lot towards Hedwig ‘s temporary parking spot. He emplored me to be careful, and added that his distaste for winter grows with age.

Oh we chuckled and shared the sentiment, I have a couplefew years on him so didn’t wax dismal. I told him about my dome strategy, he’s no gardener, but was curious, will check it out next week or so.

It’s a cool thing, and it’s warm inside, but cold is cold, and COLD is COLD, and this coming week is even colder. I keep pretending it’s okay, okay, I’m worse at pretending all the time. It’s the opposite feeling of when I immerse in warm water.

So many times this summer I marveled at the effect warm water has on me, even during summer. My body softens, my brain pauses, my skin “opens” like a gate, eager for my entire surface area to transmit that visceral joy, pleasure, sensation that translates to “this is good, this is right” to the body and being below the surface.

Yah, and cold does the opposite to me. Last week, people were swimming/doing cold plunges on the beach in SoPo, it literally makes me cringe, tighten, withdraw. Oh it’s dandy they are enjoying themselves, no judgement projected, but if there was a “NO SWIMMING” window at the beach, I’d go then so as to not even witness the, to me, atrocity.

SOMEONE DIAL NINE-WAH-WAH, I NEED THE WAHMBULANCE!!

Why? Because gray cold is just that much worse. Will I implode? I hope not. Will I get my shizzle together and instal a hot tub? Yes, not this winter, but before the onset of next.

Is it the cure? No, because when I get out, when I go get wood, sit down in the car to start it, it’s what sunlight must feel like to a vampire. Will it help? Oh jah, and I’ll just keep surfing the cycle, developing methods and employing self care. It’s a lot of work for me, but this is the work of life.

I get wht Buddha meant when he spoke of suffering. There are countless ways we suffer. Cold could be my Achilles heel, thanks for listening. May you alleviate your own suffering in healthy and sustainable ways.