Feeling the winter BLECH!
It’s actually over 20* outside, enough sun to warm the grome and raise a window quilt, but I only go outside to pee and gather wood. Ditched a Bangor run for some errands as Grandy wasn’t up for company. Do I just take the car out to pavement for that purpose alone? I should but don’t want to.
One errand I took care of online, as most I could, but I lean more to doing things in person, as well as utilize Amazon alternatives. I’m switching to AT&T, getting an iPhone Air delivered and will activate early this week. Similar phone plan but with more hotspot data and a better signal. It’s actually cheaper if I can “prove” to AT&T I’m a veteran, but I don’t have the preferred documents they request, that more recent vets have. HA, my honorable discharge is piece of paper that ran through a typewriter. Yet another indicator of time passing, things changing.
The wind is blowing snow out of the trees, it breaks into fine crystals and swirls around. Sorry, not finding the beauty in it…. It’ll be a couple months before the green ground reappears and frogs sing. That’s where my heart is. My body is doing dishes, sweeping bark crumbs off the floor, getting wood and laying fires, washing some windows, debating what to pitch/toss/throw away, make room and organize.
It’s a dissonant feeling, hollow, accepting the vacancy of my heart, inspiration. This isn’t depression, no cause for alarm, it’s the winter doldrums, and it will pass, eventually, but feels grey, dry, stiff, bristly, unwelcoming. It’s not insurmountable, just a drag!
I’m listening to some Phish from last night in Mexico, it’s sort of helping. 7 years ago Deedles and I were there, and loved it! Much has transpired since then, cycle’s of seasons, jobs and apartments. I’ll be reading an article momentarily about how embracing uncertainty enhances life.
Would escaping winter make the difference? I’ll know in less than 7 years, and currently scheming a way to build a “bath-house” this summer so I can immerse myself in hot water year round, ESPECIALLY during times like this…
DeedleDoodleDaily 